Mouse Hunt! Call Nathan Lane!

Alert Christopher Walken! A mouse has taken refuge in our home from the cold winter. Evidence of his evil presence can be found and smelled in and around our pantry. (It smells like a pet shop/store.) Would you like to try some of our freshly baked oatmeal raisin cookies? Our two good for nothing lazy cats can spend all day playing with a hair band. But, can't keep vermin off the premises!? When I find him I am not sending him to Cuba in a box! Of the many things available in our larder and emergency food supply, he ate the beef jerkey and some cocoa powder, turning up his nose at the trail mix!

Where's the phone!!!!!!!!

The cordless phone is a great invention. There was a time when holding a private telephone conversation at home required a 30 foot stretch cord and a convenient closet. The way we deal with technology may speak volumes about the age we grew up in. The phone rings and my wife and I look for it where the phone belongs, sitting in its base. Perhaps this is because we grew up expecting the phone to be tethered to the wall by its cord. For our children, the phone rings and they focus on the location of the ring. Unfortunately if the phone doesn't spend enough time resting in its base the battery will discharge and no one can answer it even if they can find it. If Jensen has been the last person to use the phone, it is likely buried under a pile of dirty clothes or camouflaged in some way lying on her unmade bed with myriad other items.

Nicknamers

My family produced a couple of nicknames for me and my siblings while I was growing up. But, my wife's family has raised the practice to a new art. This trait has rubbed off on me some during our 18 years of marriage. Here are a couple that I can remember for our children:

Ailsa:

Salsa -most popular and most often used, see story below*

Adda

Agamemnon

Bae Ailsa

BaeAilsaBubba

Bae Adda

Little princess hand in pants (don't ask)

Jensen:

Jens

Sensen (patterned after Salsa)

Ginna

Bae Ginna

Gabinna

GinnaGaBobbin

Those with an eye for these things will note that these nicknames evolve. Some of these of course are the result of a two year old Ailsa trying to say Jensen or a very young Jensen with her ubiquitous ciuccio (binky) trying to say Ailsa's name.

So far Laney hasn't generated any good nicknames. There's something about her name.

* Many years ago my sister was working in the kitchen and her young son asked her what she was doing. When she told him she was making some salsa he thought for several seconds and then said, "I have a cousin named Salsa." Despite other nicknames then in use for Ailsa, Salsa quickly assumed a very high usage rate.

Easter Egg Hunt

One of the mothers in the neighborhood has become the organizer of all of our activities. She is very creative and industrious. The annual Easter Egg Hunt has always had the misfortune of very un-springlike weather. We've consistently had snow, rain or sub arctic temperatures. Finally, yesterday was a beautiful sunny however, slightly chilly day. Another father in the neighborhood is a Magician. He always brings over his "professional associate" bunny to let the kids handle and he ties balloon figures for the kids and generally tells gags and jokes that are for the adults as wells as the kids. There are some new, nice and handsome neighbors from Vietnam who we got to chat with. We had a very nice time visiting with everyone, watching the kids, and eating the yummy orange rolls our host bakes. It's a good chance to crawl out of our winter dens, sniff the air, look for our shadow and predict the onset of continuous enjoyable weather.

Bizarro World-Schiavo Style

Robert I. Wexler (D-FL) took time out from his candlelight vigil in support of death-row inmates and his campaign for embryonic stem cell research that would "surely have saved people like Christopher Reeve from an early death," to express his outrage that the US Congress voted to try to save Terry Schiavo's life........... (not).............

My wife has been taken over by evil spirits. You cannot trust anything she says. It's not really her speaking. Please help me convince the authorities that it is time to put her to death. She specifically told me she wouldn't want to go on like this. Yes, I'm no longer living with her or taking care of her, and I have been co-habitating with the mother of my children for 10 years or so, and her parents want to take care of her, and I stand to gain financially from her death. Nevermind all that. Please help me exercise her right to die!!!!

Hi Yo Silver Away!!!!

Disclaimer: I and my family are rather dorky. This post should go a long way toward proving that fact. Almost every night Laney makes me give her a horsey back ride in the master bedroom. Every few feet or so I rear up like Silver or Trigger. Just the other night I noticed when I do this that Laney anticipates it by placing her hand on her head and at the very moment that my hands come off the ground she turns toward the mirror and, while sporting the toothiest grin possible, extends her arm as if she were waving her hat.

Shootin' Match

My best grouping.

I took the girls to a shooting range yesterday. We shot some guns once before at the Colorado River. That included a 20 gauge shotgun and some clay pigeons. The kids were quite impressed with my marksmanship. They accused me of hiding from them my "license to kill" status from my NSA days.
Yesterday we rented a little 9mm handgun and bought 100 rounds. The casing that ejected from my first shot went right down my shirt. (No, I wasn't wearing a disco shirt fashionably unbuttoned.) Luckily, the casing wasn't hot enough to burn my skin. I turned to the girls and admonished them to keep their mouths closed while they were shooting. Ailsa was holding the gun low, not aiming through the sights. She felt like quite a dweeb when we told her what she was doing wrong. Jensen hit the middle of the bullseye dead on with her first shot on a fresh target. She was very excited about that and was imagining showing it to her friends. On one of her subsequent shots she hit something that made the target drop to the floor. She was so disappointed we had to restrain her from entering the range to retrieve it.

MSM Grammar Lessons

NEW YORK (AFP) - Hundreds of New York firefighters opted to boycott the annual Irish Saint Patrick's Day parade to protest a ban on them wearing green berets......Are editors starting to give in to common (incorrect) usage? Or do they just not know? It should be the possessive... their wearing green berets.

Driving in the Copper State

A lot of fuss is made locally about Utah drivers. I've lived in California, Washington DC area, and Utah. I'm not sure that we are any different here than anywhere else. It seems the biggest problems arise when there are big differences in driving styles on the road. We do have that here. A couple of observations (I will probably add to these):


• There seems to be a hierarchy among drivers here as to what traffic laws are more important. From observation driving the speed limit is more important than stopping at red lights (or yellow lights). It is very common to be stuck behind someone doggedly obeying the limit, who then, when they notice the signal changing, proceeds through on the yellow or the red, effectively blocking you from making it through the light. I ride a bicycle a lot. If you do this enough you begin to think about conserving energy and trying to "make lights." This has carried over into my driving. I'd be willing to bet that more accidents are caused by people running red lights than by simply speeding.
• Also because of cycling, I'm trying to think a long way down the road. What is my next move? Where do I need to be? It appears most drivers aren't sleeping. They're just not engaged. Driving is a proactive activity, not casual. You have to constantly scan your field of view. Know where the five closets cars are and what they are doing or going to do. Anticipate. Most Utah drivers have no idea what their own next move is, let alone anyone else on the road.
  
• Don't block the fast lane or the slow lane. Now, most of our freeways are only three lanes so take this within reason otherwise everyone will be in the middle lane. Also keep in mind the middle lane is the least safe because you have less room to maneuver. If you don't have to be in the slow lane, don't. Leave the space for people who need to exit or enter the road. Don't camp out in the fast lane if you are not the fastest one on the road. Don't try to block people who are speeding. That's not your job.
• Blind spots. Don't "camp out" in somebody's blind spot. It's the most dangerous place to be on the road.
• It is the inferred duty of every driver to encumber traffic as little as possible. Be alert! When the light turns green, go! There are only so many of us who can get through while it is green.
  

Spiritual Matters

I was struck recently while reading Alma 11:9-11 in the Book of Mormon. As one matures spiritually it becomes increasingly apparent that the uninitiated cannot understand or relate because they are... well, uninitiated. That may seem so blatantly obvious. You will not see what I see until you stand where I stand. It is a long and delicate process. I can only help you want to experience it. Also if someone reverses their spiritual course they are "given the lesser portion" (which reads like it is taken away from them, but maybe it is worded this way intentionally to imply that we have nothing unless our "light" is constantly given to us.) until we actually do not know or remember what it was like back when. To strain the analogy a little compare Red State experience to Blue State experience. I seems fairly obvious that the red has no idea what it's like for the blue and has no appreciation for them.

Behind the Headline

Yahoo Headline: Developed Countries Still Carry Greatest Cancer Burden Thu Mar 10,11:47 PM E

This is typical of a misleading headline (intentional?) We are more susceptible to cancer because our life expectancy is greater than 26 years.