Laney's brush with the law

We had a really busy Saturday. I got up early to ride the tandem with Jensen. We wanted to go early because the wind was supposed to pick up later in the day. She had to go to Kung Fu about 8:40 so we only got 14.5 miles in. So, after they left I went out again solo for 11 miles. Finally, on this second ride I did a decent pace. I think it has a lot to do with it being warmer.

I changed the oil on both cars and then did the annual Spring Sprinkler ritual. I had three valves acting up. One needed to be tightened up, two others needed to be re-wired. There were four heads to replace. Two were just old and not sealing well. The other two had been run over by Ailsa (for the jillionth time) and were broken.

I took Laney and Jensen with me to Lowe's for company. Of course, after I got there I had to use the restroom. So, I left them by themselves for a couple of minutes.

When we returned home we found that Laney had picked up a small lock washer and a drywall type screw and secreted them in her shoe. I really didn't want to go back to the store again. I was hoping I was done for the night. But, it seemed the proper thing to do. Besides, Laney didn't seem too remorseful or concerned about it. (Lately, I've been concerned with repentance and President Daw impressed on me the importance of making sure people feel proper sorrow and remorse and that they seek and obtain a sense of forgiveness.) I told her that if a big person like me had taken something bigger, the store would probably call the police and I might go to jail. That got her attention. She said, "I don't want to go to jail. I don't like it when I go to jail."

All the way back to the store she kept repeating and whimpering that she didn't want to go to jail. I didn't want to tell her she wouldn't go to jail. So, I kept saying "I don't think you will go to jail." Finally, I told her if she had to go to jail that Mommy and Jensen and I would go with her. (Ailsa was at work.) That calmed her down a little.

We walked up to the Service Counter and there was a cute young girl working there. I told her we had been in earlier and that my little daughter had picked up some things and taken them home. She responded with an "Oh" and covered her mouth like she was going to be emotional. She clearly understood that this was a teaching moment. I asked her if it was okay if Laney returned the items and apologized. That was fine. Laney placed her bounty on the counter, said a meek "I'm sorry" and we went on our way. I think Laney learned her lesson and she certainly felt better, especially knowing she wasn't going to jail.

Later, when we arrived home I pulled a washer and a lovely golden screw out of my odd and ends box and gave them to her.

New Piano Old Piano

We've had a small 4 foot 11 inch Behr Brothers grand piano since we moved to Utah. We bought it from a family in Bountiful. I believe we paid $1300. It was the first piece of furniture we moved into the house.

Lenore's mother has had two grand pianos for some time. One of them she received from the kids' piano teacher, Sally Fletcher, who died in 1994. Some time ago she told us we could have Mrs. Fletcher's piano. We tried to sell our little baby grand. But, got no serious bites. Last fall a sister in our ward said she was interested in it. Lenore sold it to her for $800. They finally got their house all remodeled and squared away to receive the piano this weekend.

So on Saturday we had Thresher piano movers in the house twice. They had been told that we were getting a piano similar to our old one. He was surprised when we told him the new one was a 7 foot size. The little one was about 400 lbs. The new one is about 1200 lbs. Of course, the moving fee was more than we first thought.

The new piano is actually quite old. It's Mason and Hamlin model BB built in 1908. The Black finish is not in great shape. But, it still looks nice and plays quite well. We have to wait a month before we have the piano tech come and tune it. The girls, especially Jensen, were somewhat emotional about saying goodbye to their old piano. Jensen asked the new owners for right of first refusal.

Repent! The Day of the Lord is Nigh!

I've starting riding again and so begins my annual pursuit of the fitness lost during the long cold inactive calorie laden winter. I've only ridden about 100 miles so far this year. But, 50 or so of those are in the last three days. (And I will probably ride 20 miles tomorrow.) I'm sure I started cycling about this same time last year. But, I apparently did not keep track of mileage and times until they became more respectable. I feel slow and tired. Looking at my pace doesn't help any. I'm not sure if it is the legs, heart, lungs, or the mitochondria at this point. Probably all of them. It makes me think of the principle of repentance. With all due respect to J. Golden, most of the time repentance is a longer process than we think. I expect by the end of May I will have mostly repented for my fall from physical grace. Hopefully, I will be able to reach the same levels as the last two years.

List of Components/Weights/Cost

My Rant on Agency

The Essence of Agency

I have been pondering about "Agency" for some time. Of course, I reserve the right for my feelings and thoughts on this issue to evolve and change. But, I have given it time to "gel" and thought long and hard and think I'm close to a developed thesis. I welcome outside input and dialog.

This whole questioning and philosophizing came about because I got tired of hearing people say (especially in response to questions on abortion or homosexuality), "I'm against it. But, I don't think it is right for Society to impose that view on others through laws. That is Satan's plan." In my heart of hearts I felt this thinking was flawed and corrupt. But, I couldn't tell you why.

Before I go further let me say I think it can be misleading to say Satan had an alternative "plan." There is only one way, one plan. Satan had some erroneous proposals about how he would carry it out. That is why he is called the Father of Lies. But, in the end there is and was only one way to achieve God's purposes. It is obvious to any serious student of the Gospel that Satan could not achieve God's end with his own unrighteous means. However, the limits of language make it easiest to refer to it as Satan's plan.

It is apparent that we have a lot of misunderstanding about Agency. If we don't know what it is, how can we protect it or exercise it correctly? So let's talk about it.

Agency is an Eternal Principle. In essence, you cannot take it away. The only way you can "destroy" it is through wickedness. The only way you can destroy someone else's Agency is by enticing them to wickedness. What Satan seeks to do at all turns is to subvert our Agency.

Every choice we make leads us down one path or the other. Exercising our Agency for good is liberating. Choosing evil is damning. The end result of following Satan is total captivity. The end result of following Heavenly Father is "...all that my Father hath shall be given unto him." (D&C 84: 38) That sounds pretty much like complete freedom.

In our minds we equate Agency with Freedom. Perhaps it is better to equate it with Responsibility.

What do people usually think of when we speak of "taking away someone's Agency?" (That phrase is probably a misnomer.) I believe most often we think of making someone do something they don't want to do, or perhaps limiting their choices.

Let me ask some questions. Can you really make someone do something they don't want to do? Even when extreme pressure is brought to bear to overcome someone's resistance, is it really a free will choice? In this case, who is responsible for the act? Am I guilty of eating chocolate if someone ties me down, forcefully places a funnel in my mouth and crams it down my throat? These extreme measures will never be required for me to be persuaded to ingest chocolate. However, if someone went to such lengths and it was wrong to eat chocolate, would I be guilty of some crime? Of course not!

This idea has special relevance to raising children and shaping behavior. I expect I am not alone as a parent in wondering if I at times have infringed on the "Agency" of one of my daughters by bringing extreme pressure on them to do what I want them to do or by artificially limiting their choices or their ability to do something they wanted to do. All I can say is Heavenly Father is a loving and all-knowing parent. At all times he is trying to teach us and shape our behavior. If we pattern our parenting after his example we should stand the best chance of success.

Mortal life presents us with many choices, perhaps because of the physical body, more choices than we will have in the eternities. However, were we guaranteed that our choices would never be limited? Were we all guaranteed every choice imaginable? I don't think so. By that measure, all of our Agencies would be limited. In truth none of us has unlimited freedom. I was not given the opportunity to pursue an education in China. Well, in reality I didn't want to go to China. I wanted a Chinese education in the U.S. Yes, I'm being a little absurd. But, it is apparent that each choice leads to a new set of choices and away from an old set of choices. Perhaps in choosing to take on mortality each of our paths inherently excluded some choices and each smorgasbord of choices is unique to each individual. Is this an injustice? It must not be. It is a circumstance of our mortal existence. So I'm no longer so sure that limiting someone's choices qualifies as "taking away their Agency" and thereby part of "Satan's plan."

The one area that never comes up in a discussion of Satan's plan and foiling Agency is the idea of preventing the natural consequence of sin. After some considerable pondering, I believe this is at least as important as the "force" and "limiting" facets of Agency interference. It may even be the only way you can really thwart the concept of Agency. If you look at the workings of "Secret Combinations" this is their central evil and their main attraction, that by banding together for evil, members of the group can avoid the consequences of their actions. However, Wrong will always be Wrong. The Laws of God and Nature will one day require restitution for evil, even if Society in the short term does not.

The plan of Agency requires certain conditions: Opposites have to exist. "For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, ...righteousness could not be brought to pass" (2 Ne. 2: 11);

At least until the Natural man is burned out of our character by consistently choosing Good and applying the Atoning Blood of Christ, we have to be tempted. "Wherefore, man could not act for himself save it should be that he was enticed by the one or the other." (2 Ne. 2:16);

There has to be a Law. Have you ever noticed that in successive chapters of the book of Romans, roughly in the middle verse of each chapter, Paul emphasized this thought?

Romans 3:20 Therefore by the deeds of the law there shall no flesh be justified in his sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin.

Romans 4:15 Because the law worketh wrath: for where no law is, there is no transgression.

Romans 5:13 For until the law sin was in the world: but sin is not imputed when there is no law;

We have to be taught. "And men are instructed sufficiently that they know good from evil. And the law is given unto men." (2 Ne. 2:5); and

The demands of the Law (punishment) must be satisfied. The Young Women value is Choice AND Accountability.

Even when Man has not established proper laws, there are Eternal Laws and Eternal consequences to Sin.

So Satan through the World and throughout the World teaches that there is no Good and Bad, that things are more complicated and nuanced than that. He teaches that Evil is Good and Good Evil. He teaches that it is wrong for Society to control Man and "take away" his Agency by establishing laws. He teaches that Mercy should be applied when Repentance has not taken place. He teaches us that Man cannot escape his nature and is unchangeable, repentance is impossible, we cannot be forgiven. And he does not hold Man responsible for his misdeeds.

When I consider this, it makes it much more important not to protect my children from the natural consequences of their actions, to allow them the proper God-prescribed environment in which to learn. This was born out briefly in the recent World-Wide Leadership Training Broadcast when Sister Bonnie Parkin said, "We must teach our children to make wise choices, but we can't remove the consequences of their actions. Remember, the basis of our Heavenly Father's plan is agency." We learn a very bad lesson and develop bad habits when we sin and seemingly get away with it. It is a pernicious lie to learn and reinforce.

In the role of parenting, we must teach our children sufficiently to recognize the difference between Good and Evil. We must also teach them and encourage them to choose Good, to find in Good their Happiness, because that is the only place to find Happiness. We must establish rules or laws. We must punish offenses against those laws. We must teach repentance and forgiveness and returning to the encircling arms of Mercy.

The scriptures have the power to contain the natural appetites of man, away from the nothing and out toward the Light. The scriptures give us the power of self determination. They will give us the power to adhere to the moral absolutes they teach. Reading the scriptures daily is the best way to combat, on an individual basis, the lies of the adversary, that are taught every day by Society, and strengthen our knowledge that there are very real and Eternal consequences of all of our actions.

Satan cannot alleviate or protect us from the eternal consequences of our actions. He makes it seem that we have avoided the results of sin by lying to us (or enticing others to lie to us, or ignore our wrongs.) But, it is a temporary and temporal comfort. "And the serpent said unto the woman: Ye shall not surely die;..." (Moses 4:10) Adam and Eve did not face immediate physical death. But, the natural consequence of partaking of the fruit was that they surely would one day die. It seems Satan chooses to be temporally or carnally minded at every turn. The test or burden of this mortal life is to keep in mind what it is worth, what is at stake. The world forces us to live in the moment. The gospel invites us to live in eternity.

Now, let me add a bit of a wishy washy caveat. I believe especially within the family setting that we can be too strict as well as too lenient. Neither is ideal for raising children.

Making abortion illegal and assigning a punishment for its practice is no more limiting someone's choices or forcing them to do something than has already been explained. If it is an eternal law (and a very important one at that) we are dreadfully wrong not to ban it and punish for its transgression.

Many people speak of abortion and same sex marriage as "private actions" that do not hurt anyone. In the case of abortion, that is obviously not true. There really is no such thing as a private action.

Quoting from Orson Scott Card in his article on "Homosexual "Marriage" and Civilization" - "Civilization depends on people deliberately choosing not to do many things that feel good at the time, in order to accomplish more important, larger purposes. Having an affair; breaking up a marriage; oh, those can feel completely justified and the reasons very important at the time.

But society has a vital stake in child-rearing; and children have a vital stake in society."

Another thought from the World-Wide Training: Quoting Elder David Bednar, "The eternal nature and importance of marriage (and I would add gender and gender roles) can be fully understood only within the overarching context of the Father's plan for His children." This concept, which seems so obviously true, makes it that much more important to spread the Gospel.

Does it make sense to micromanage life and write laws that proscribe everything that is "wrong?" I'm not even sure it is good or right to do that. Perhaps, an appropriate rule of thumb is, if one of the Ten Commandments is involved maybe Society is within its rights, even has the duty to proscribe behavior. The Church leadership has seldom, but occasionally, taken a public stand on issues that are moral in nature and have political relevance and ramifications. The instances where this has happened seem to fit the above pattern. Should the Saints strive to keep Society in check on the important issues of abortion and same sex marriage? I think so. Even if there were no moral basis, Society needs to be protected from its self-destructive tendencies.

Two weddings and a Funeral

Monday 3 April I had a funeral for Eva Richards. At 91 she was, I think, the second oldest person in the ward. It was a nice enough funeral. Her husband died in 1999. Since then she has not been in good health and the last time I saw her, around Christmas, you could tell she just wanted to pass on. That's what I prayed for.

Friday after work I talked Lenore into taking me and Laney to Maui Taco for dinner. They were short on churros and instead gave Laney a couple of kids meal type toys. One of these was a fake ice cream cone with a spring loaded sponge rubber ice cream scoop that would hit you in the face when triggered at the appropriate time. So countless times the rest of the evening I had to repeat the phrase, "O, please can I have a taste of your lovely ice cream cone" (imagine a droll delivery like Janeane Garofalo at Medieval Times in The Cable Guy) and submit to being shot in the face with this silly toy. Laney just cackled with delight each time. You can tell her sense of humor isn't very sophisticated.

I managed to finally loosen the stoker seat post on the tandem bike. The last time I adjusted it (in San Clemente) it was quite hard to move and in the meantime it seized. I had tried some minor measures to loosen it, liquid wrench and a pipe wrench. But, it wasn't moving. I purchased some penetrating oil and shot a bunch of it into one of the water bottle screw holes with the bike hanging upside down and let it sit for a while. Then I placed the seat post in the pipe clamp portion of my bench vise and cranked down on it enough to deform the tube pretty well. Then, I started trying to move the frame against the post. After a couple of tries there was a slight metallic ring as the grip of the rust gave way and I was able to twist it and get it out.

Jensen and I went for a ride after I cleaned it up and put it back together. It was windy again. Not quite as bad as last time. The ride felt pretty good though, I think because I've lost a little bit of weight and because of the last ride two weeks ago.

Saturday we had two weddings to go to. We first went to Elizabeth "Z" Jessop's sealing at the Salt Lake Temple. We got to see Jake Jessop his family and Erin and Jeff Nelson and their family. While waiting for the ceremony to begin it was absolutely quiet in the sealing room, very relaxing and restful, except for the two ladies to the left of me who insisted on whispering for most of the wait. They were whispering very quietly. But, it was still a little annoying.

Next, we had to go to Daybreak (almost Herriman) for Carrie's (one of Ailsa's best friends) wedding. It was also nice enough. She married a cowboy from Wyoming. I had my fill of barbecued meatballs and chicken salad sandwiches. From that reception Ailsa had to go up to West Point for another reception. The silly bride scheduled two receptions on her wedding day. Chantell Anderson rode with the bride and groom up to West Point in the "Just Married" car. I wonder how many people on the freeway thought they were watching an installment of "Big Love?"

Later that evening we returned downtown to the JSMB for Z's reception. It was very nice and quite fun to visit with everyone. We were surprised to see Heather and Stephen Beers there. But it was nice to see them and visit. Very quickly on Laney found that the Jessop grandchildren were all in the coat closet watching Shark Tale on DVD. So, we didn't have to worry about her becoming bored.

Mega Riunione

We went last Friday evening to a historic 40 year anniversary reunion for all Italian missionaries and just about anybody who has any connection whatsoever with the progress of the Gospel in the great land of the Caesars. They thoughtfully excluded simple Italophiles and Gastronomists. Otherwise the building wouldn't have been big enough. The land of Italy was rededicated for the preaching of the Gospel in 1966.

It was especially interesting to hear from two Italians. First an impassioned plea from a brother Giovanni C. Maschero who is Italian Vice Consul in Salt Lake. He evidently was quite key in the Church becoming legalized in Italy. Apparently the Church still needs to be officially recognized as a religion in Italy. He implied that this is delaying the announcement of Temple construction in Italy. They did announce that they expect three more stakes in Italy in the near future. He passionately requested that we weary the Lord with our importuning and increase our heavenly petitions on behalf of his beloved homeland and his fellow Italian Saints.

We also heard from Elder Luigi S. Peloni, an Area Authority Seventy from Italy. This dear Fratello insisted on speaking in English, although he really has only a rudimentary acquaintance with the tongue. It was sweet though, and I couldn't help but remember that all of the missionaries surely faltered initially in Italian as this brother did in English.

After an initial session that was a very comfortable length, we were dismissed to individual meetings with our mission Presidents. We were admonished to look for and follow our President. I leaned over and whispered to Michelle Young that if she saw President Halliday she was to let me know. (He passed away in 1988.)

In all about 53 Mission Presidents have served in Italy. We didn't know initially if there was any arrangement at all or what that arrangement might be for the individual sessions with our Mission Presidents. We scoured the building and finally found our group in the Cultural Hall. They had arranged the sessions by age. We found that ours was the 7th oldest group.

The only Hymn we sang was O Speranza d'Israele (Hope of Israel.) Of course, we sang in Italian, and boy howdy did we sing. I joked with Lenore during the Saturday session of General Conference that we probably made more sound than the congregation in the whole Conference Center. The guy directing the music had a nice and powerful voice and wasn't afraid to sing out and it seemed everyone was in the same mode, singing with much gusto.

We went to dinner beforehand with the Ashbys, Burrups and Youngs at Al Forno. (Funny, Al wasn't anywhere to be found.) I have heard about the restaurant. But, this was our first venture there. It was very good and enjoyable. We will go again.

I chatted briefly with Susan Ashby and asked about her children. Their oldest daughter is marrying in the Temple soon. So, that brings a very nice conclusion to a somewhat troubling period. Michelle Young is taking their daughter Jillian to Europe as a graduation present. Lenore asked me how it was that we aren't able to do that?????!!!!

Jensen's Grades

This doesn't happen often in the Lillywhite family. In fact I don't remember it ever happening. Yay Jensen! Click on the picture.