This is my Memorial Day post. What started out as a very unpromising day, very rainy, turned into a very nice one. I got a bike ride in and did all the errands I needed to and we had a nice swim in the pool and picnic meal at Leslie's. 

Jensen's face says, "Are we there yet?"

Jensen's Graduation

The mind can only absorb as much as the hiney can endure. I swear that quote has the word "hiney" in it. You might be wondering why I've posted so many items in a row. I'm entertaining myself at Jensen's Graduation. Eighteen speakers later......I think someone spiked Hartman Rector's water. He really is a talented extemporaneous speaker, able to hold forth for a long, long time. Amazingly, after 4.5 hours, 92 year old Cleon Skousen is still alert. Brother Rector is starting to lose the room. Jensen is trying to be stoic. We are sitting at the back of the hall making funny comments to eachother and faces at Jensen. Really we are at least an hour beyond reasonable. It's the beginning of Memorial Day weekend for goodness sake!

Last year graduation was outside and rain mercifully kept it short. This year we are at the Grand America Hotel. Very Posh. But, no hope for rain.

Interview With A........

Last Saturday I needed to go over the Church to do a couple of things. I asked Laney if she wanted to go with me. She jumped at the chance. There's a small candy dish I keep on the Bishop's desk mainly to make my office an inviting place for the kids. Lately Laney has been testing our mettle quite a bit. So, I also took the chance to "try" to interview her to get her used to the idea and expose her to the concept of periodic review and accountability. So, I sat her down, folded my hands and very seriously asked her, "Laney, are you being a good girl?" She replied, "Daaaaad, (with the descending ditonic of little kids that denotes a slight reprimand) you're so funny." That ended all attempts at serious introspection.

Uno, Dos, Tres.............

Our ward had a Quatorce de Mayo party. Yes, it was really just Gringo food. But, it was yummy anyway. The highlight was the dessert. We had all you can eat churros. It was almost as good as Disneyland. I pretended I was George Lopez and told Laney she could only have a lick and pass it on.

The pinata was a big hit with the kids (pun intended.) I'm glad we didn't knock any teeth out. After all the kids had a turn they let me have the last whack. I figured that the pinata tenders would let me get a few licks in and then try to get some laughs at my expense. So, after two hits I felt around for the rope with my stick and then grabbed it so they couldn't pull it out of my reach. And then I just wailed away at the thing much to the delight of the kids. On cue they threw large quantities of candy on the floor and everyone squealed with delight.

Numerology

I just heard on the Radio that a recent survey shows that 3 out of 10 people had decided to take no vacation this summer due to high gasoline prices. This isn't the first evidence that the general public is either misinformed or doesn't often think things through. The price of gasoline here has risen in recent memory from a very nice low of about $1.70 per gallon to about $2.20 per gallon. Even if you are driving a Ford Excessive, ...oops I mean Excursion 6000 miles for your vacation you will only be spending about $300 more for the gasoline. And I assume if you are doing that, $300 is a drop in the bucket. A figure probably closer to home is calculating a 1500 mile drive getting 20 miles to the gallon. That is an increase of a little over $50 from the recent change in gas prices. You're going to cancel your vacation over a $50 increase in expense?????

I think maybe alot of these people are ones who weren't going to make the drive when gas was $1.70 per gallon or $1.20. The news of the survey just makes it sound like the recent increase was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Sometimes only a Wick-Wick will do.

I was reminded of this episode over the weekend and tried my darndest to find the letter it is referenced in, to no avail. It must be lost forever to the ether. I thought it would be good to set it down in words again.

My wife's family is notorious for making up names and also making up words. This has passed on somewhat to my children. Jensen was once almost as cute as Laney is now. When she was very young she coined the term "wick-wick" for anything that moved like scissors. This included tweezers. In fact at the time we had a set of tweezers that had scissors loops on the end and actually worked like a "wick-wick." Jensen must have been around two or three years old. We had a car seat for her that had some cheap plastic covered foam cushions on it undoubtedly imported from overseas where it cost a total of $1.37 in materials and labor. The plastic had cracked and the foam was exposed.

Lenore was out shopping when Jensen started whimpering and fussing terribly in the back seat of the car. Lenore investigated and found that Jensen had pulled off a little piece of the foam and carefully and completely inserted it up her nose. Kids do these kinds of things all the time. What are they thinking? I'd rather remove stuff from my nose. Anyway in her nearly hysterical state Jensen said, "GET A WICK-WICK!!!!!" Even at her very young age Jensen knew very precisely how she would take care of the situation. Lenore had a very handy Swiss Army knife complete with a small nearly useless "wick-wick." With that tool she was able to extricate the offending piece of sweatshop foam from Jensen's proboscis much to the relief of both daughter and mother.

What am I Missing?

I have to admit probably knowing less than your average smart guy when it comes to the constitution and Senate rules. When I first heard the Dems were "filibustering" I thought they were holding forth in continuous debate, not allowing a vote. I expect this is the concept of filibuster that most Americans have. I've been told that the Republican side is not "requiring" (?) that drastic action from the Dems.

My question: I realize that making the Dems conduct a "true" filibuster on judicial appointees would be almost as onerous for the R's as for the D's. Shouldn't we make them do it anyway? If they want to “filibuster,” make them do it right.

These Cards are Marked!!!!

It seems Laney has become enamoured with the card game "Go Fish." Maybe she feels it is the only way to command an audience with anyone in the family. I can remember playing cards at a very young age and fielding lots of complaints about my "hand" management skills. One of the first principles to master in any card game is that of organizing your cards so you have quick and easy access and know what you have. Laney is at the very beginning of the learning curve on this idea. It doesn't help that our particular brand of "Go Fish" cards are about three times the size of a regular face card. It's no wonder her cards look like a haystack all the time. Who did they think was going to play this game, Wookies? She has at least basically learned the rules and now is pretty good about not blurting out the type of card she draws from the kitty. Since, her cards are such a mess, though, she can't always be trusted to give you all the cards she has of any type when you ask for them. But, we have fun saying "Go Fish" just like the old M&M (not Eminem) commercial.

She's quite sharp and may be well on the road to reading and writing by the time she starts kindergarten in three months. However, she may only be able to recognize the following words: Angel Fish, Butterfly Fish, Dolphin, Whale, Guppy.........

Talk Radio Wars

On 7 May in the Deseret Morning News there was an OP/ED piece decrying the strident and hateful tone of Conservative talk Radio. Particular mention was made of Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly who are aired on KSL Radio. A few days following there were a remarkable number of approving letters to the editor. Then there was the backlash, of which I was a part. The full version of my letter to the editor:

Judging from the Readers Forum letters of 10 May it seems that Don Gale struck a chord with some readers. What I find interesting is that I would classify Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly as very cordial and polite even as they disagree with someone. They may be outspoken, willing to take a stand and brook no quarter to the opposition. Somehow that qualifies as "hate." Liberals label anything they don't like to hear as hate even if it is truth. If counter-conservative Talk Radio ever produces personalities on par with Limbaugh and these two and if people complain about their "tone" I am sure that Liberals will just suggest that we turn it off if we don't like it. I wonder how many people are now tuning in to Hannity or O'Reilly to see if they can find out what Mr. Gale was talking about?

Practice your backstroke, it's starting to rain! Springtime in the deserts of Utah.

The School year is winding down. Jensen is almost done with her thesis and it looks like she may possibly graduate this year. She has actually been better about sticking to this task than Ailsa was. What do we do with her next year? No offense to Jensen. But, I don't think she is ready for college. Ailsa keeps checking the SLCC website every 20 minutes to see if new grades have been posted. She's in the clear though. She got a C in her Math class that she thought she was in danger of failing. We bought a tandem road bike and assembled it this weekend. This is going to be fun when the weather clears. Each of the "big" girls took a turn trying it out with me. We attached the "baby" trailer and gave Laney a ride too. She literally screamed with delight the whole time, five laps around the neighborhood. We probably have some neighbors thinking, "Oh, that poor autistic child." I can just see us trying to take a ride down 7th East in the morning with Laney screeching. We'll get stopped and questioned for possible kidnapping.

Prom 1976, Somewhere in Irvine, CA? Proof that bad taste existed before Disco. (I'm not talking about Kendall.)

I had a prom once too. Why yes, that is pink trim on my ruffles to match the lovely pink chevron on my date's dress. And those are white gym shoes (probably K-Swiss?) My friends and I were very impressed with Sir Paul McCartney's gym shoes with formal attire at the Oscars (was it 1974?) I think I attended other proms too. But, this was my senior year and not at a "foreign" school. I don't remember much except that there was a lake with a fountain in the middle and there were also paddle boats for rent. We saw one guy take his date right through the middle of the fountain for some sort of deranged prom night baptism.

One note: I grew up in Orange County, California. I never heard anybody say "OC" or "The OC" until the silly soap opera came out. I have never seen the show. But, I'm sure it grossly misrepresents life there for about 99% percent of the people. We were self absorbed and affected and weird. But, not anymore so than anywhere else.

Orange Crush, Fanta, Mountain Dew, Jack in the Box, Treviglio Italy, Dr. Pepper

"The OC" got me thinking about Orange Crush and Orange Fanta. During my senior year of High School I worked at "Pizza Man," (He Delivers.) It was actually a pretty good job. Thank goodness I didn't have to wear any strange costume like Judge Reinhold in "Fast Times..." It usually made me mad when kids would order a pizza and then pretend not to be home. Occasionally, as compensation, the manager would let us eat the pizza on the drive back to the store. Also, there were times when I had to work way too late on a school night. We had inherited my grandfather's VW Bus and that's what I drove most of the time. I would often drive thru at "Jack in the Box" to get an Orange drink while out on my rounds.

Another soft drink that I have really liked since it had cartoon hillbillies on the glass bottles is mountain Dew. I deeply regret the fact that the Caffeine Free version is very hard to locate and for the most part isolated to Utah County and Southern Idaho. Subway has made a recent change from Pepsi products at the beverage fountain to Coke products. So, Goodbye Mountain Dew and Hello Orange Fanta.

When we went to Italy in 2002, our first full day of sightseeing we took a train from Merone to Cremona where I had served 9 months as a missionary. Our day trip required a change of trains in Treviglio. We had a couple of minutes wait time at the train station there. It was very typical for a smallish town, two or three platforms and a small cafe adjoining the station. While we waited we bought a Lemon Fanta and shared it amongst us to ward off the warmth and humidity of the early June day. Laney (almost two years old at the time) amused herself with the small fountain and the coi fish. Like the rays at the Monterey Aquarium who swim by just out of arm's reach, these fish knew better than to trust Laney and would congregate on the side if the pool opposite her. It was a very pleasant and quaint half hour or so.

I later realized that Treviglio is the seat of all things that are cycling tradition and beauty.... It is the headquarters of Bianchi SpA, the oldest bicycle manufacturer in the world. (I ride a Bianchi.) This would be like a Ferrari owner going to Modena or Maranello without knowing that is where they are Headquartered.

Another soft drink sidelight: I do not like Dr. Pepper in the least. I can remember being very young and going to a family reunion. I was really hot and really bored and the only thing left to drink was Dr. Pepper. I must have opened 3 or 4 bottles thinking I could choke it down. But, I couldn't.

Dancing Dorks

We went to Jensen's Prom on 22 April at Wheeler Farm. No she isn't even old enough to date. She didn't go with a date. She is attempting to graduate this year and those at her school who fall in that category are invited to the Prom. It was fun to see the kids all primped and powdered. Where else can a silly teen sport a top hat and cane and not get mugged? Jensen has had very little exposure to dances and we had to bribe her to dance. She had lots of fun, though. And we got to hear some silly old songs from a long time ago, like Guitarzan (shut up! Baby, I'm trying to sing!) and Flowers on the Wall.

Jensen all gussied up for prom. She looks like my sister Kim. 

Elder Dreamboat

When the two new LDS Apostles were announced last October General Conference I actually missed the announcement because I was at the end of a 50 mile bike ride. Once the ride was finished and I was in the car on my way home the news had already happened. So when I walked in the house and asked my wife. She made me guess as a punishment. She did give me a hint: Elder Dreamboat. My sister in law and I think also my mom (sorry mom, if I'm right or if I'm wrong) had taken to calling Dieter Uchtdorf "Elder Dreamboat" when they had seen him in the past. Part of the way through his talk at Conference Jensen came down the stairs wondering if Arnold Schwarzenegger was Mormon.

I used to belong to what one 91 year old member of our ward referred to as the best looking bishopric in the Church. I wonder if there is a market in the Church for beefcake pageants?

Sink Me

As a family recently we have been watching a lot of the PBS type period movies such as the Scarlet Pimpernel, the Count of Monte Cristo, House of Mirth (where's the Mirth?) and currently we are watching the six part Pride and Prejudice with Colin Firth. I have never read any of Jane Austen's works. I know I should. This may not be a man's movie. But, the Democratic process in my home will never favor Bruce Willis movies. The girls are purring at Colin Firth (I'm afraid I don't see the attraction) while I find Jennifer Ehle quite tolerable. The writing is witty, the characters well played, especially Mr. Collins, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, and Mrs. Bennett. I confess though I can watch just about anything if the players have an accent from the British Isles, "It's so intelligent like."