Thanksgiving

We had a turkey in the freezer that we didn't use at Thanksgiving or Christmas. My parents were in town for the weekend and the Smiths were coming over so we decided to cook it. I often like to do out of the ordinary things with the "wet" stuffing. I used what was on hand. I put in pecans and sausage and calamata olives and dried cranberries. When I was carving the turkey and removing the stuffing Laney was observing closely. She asked, "what are the red things?" I told her cranberries and olives. She said, "He ate them!!!!????"

Working Cover for Ailsa's Book

Is here.

Ailsa's Latest Composition

Is here.

Speaking of Sajid Mughal

(Sometimes we call him and his sibling The Muggles.)
We went to his Baptism Saturday. You should find it interesting that a great great great great grandson of Joseph Smith Sr. is half Pakistani and looks uncannily like a younger version of the boy playing Joseph Smith in "The Restoration" video.

Quality is Job One

The Blue car has to be inspected this month. We are not a very imaginative family. We have two Ford Explorers. (They both sport KungFuUtah.com decals.) So I took it to the inspection place. They told me the "third brake light" was burnt out. That is the one up high in the middle that the scare bears made all the automobile companies include in their design as of 1986. "THINK OF THE CHILDREN!" No big deal, I thought. I've probably got a light bulb at home in the garage I can just pop in.

So I got home and in the freezing cold I started tearing into the car. It looked like I had to pull off the interior panel, which broke. It was probably extra brittle because of the extreme cold. Then I pulled off some electronic device and then I could see the light fixture was held on by three nuts. Then there were also some rivets that I had to drill out. At this point I was thinking, Holy Moly! What is the deal with this light! The rear side tail lights are extremely easy to replace. It must have been a different part of the design team that did this light. Once I got the whole thing off it was obvious that this was a very different setup.

I called the dealer parts store. Yes, it's a different setup. This is like a flourescent light. I have no idea why. Maybe it's because there is an extremely narrow space where it is installed. The system consists of a ballast which is usually the problem and costs $140 and the light fixture itself is $250!!! I had no way of knowing which was broken. Lenore convinced me I didn't want to bet it was the ballast and then have to spend an additional $250 if it wasn't. So I took it to the dealer and spent $140 for the ballast (that's what was malfunctioning) and $160 for them to figure it out, replace it, and re-attach the light fixture I had removed. Needless to say we didn't dine chez Romano's that evening. I should have come up with a Red Green doityourself repair. But, duct tape doesn't go well with the color of this car.

Little Sisters of No Mercy

We were outside shovelling snow (snovelling show) on Monday. There was about six inches. We sent the kids over to Geri Suzuki's and Norma Noyes' house to do their driveway and walk. (Norma just turned 90 this month.) When they were done they came back over and were helping me and Laney. (No, Laney is not much help at all.) Ailsa worked her way down the walk toward the new neighbors to the west of us. One of their boys was doing their driveway. I could hear them chatting first tentative words of introduction. As soon as Laney noticed she started yelling, "Ailsa has a boyfriend" repeatedly. I couldn't help but think, Great! the first time a boy says anything to Ailsa besides "go up, little girl!"* and Laney is there to make it uncomfortable.

*This refers to an old story from at least 10-12 years ago. We took the kids to Liberty park one Saturday and afterwards we asked Ailsa if she made any friends. She said on the commando netting one boy told her "go up, little girl!" So since then this has been a family joke about the extent of Ailsa's interaction with boys.

Britty Boo

"Hi Uncle T! This is Britty." I was out at lunchtime today and got a call on my cell phone. I don't often get calls on my cell phone, especially from my cutest most favoritest niece. Was this an emergency? No, unbeknownst to me she had just driven by me and wanted to say Hi! How nice. She was off to a friend's house to watch Thoroughly Modern Millie. She is such a good kid.

I guess I have to take that back about favoritest niece though. I have lots of nieces and nephews. I could say my favoritest niece named Brittany. But, in deference to my other niece named Brittany, I'd better refrain from that. And, she is really really cute. But, then so is the other Brittany, sort of a blonde Catherine Zeta Jones. Let's face it. It's hard to be unique in this family.

I have two sisters named Kim. Well, Kim and a sister in law named Kimberly. (You're probably expecting me to say I have two brothers named Darrell. But, that's Lenore's Father's name.) I have a brother named Sean and a nephew named Shaun. I have a brother named Aron and a nephew named Aaron. I have a sister named Kristin and Aaron's wife is Kristen.

I have two nieces named Brenna. There's a sister in law named Melissa and a niece named Melissa. Ailsa's middle name is Christian and my niece Shanna's husband is Christian (go Aquabats!) I know, now I'm stretching. Oh... and I have ten nephews named Sajid. Just kidding about that Sajid bit, only one of those.

I have let my daughters know that when it comes to husband selection time they are to avoid any of the above mentioned names.

Update: Aparently some members of the family didn't get the memo. I've been informed that Ryan and Julie are naming their little girl Bonnie Ryan Hoke.

Update again: Niece Brittany (Catherine Zeta Jones) is now engaged to Clayton. My brother Sean has a son by the same name. And nephew Brandon is dating a Kim.

Tempus Fugit - Take a Quick Glance

The other evening Ailsa asked me whatever happened to those nights we used to spend reading together. For a couple of years when Ailsa and Jensen were maybe 8-14ish, we would spend sometimes even an hour reading together. We went through Most of Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game series, Alvin Maker series, and the Homecoming series. Some perhaps more than once. Her question sparked an extremely brief and poignant realization for me. It was a "moment." I'm not sure she noticed. But, I did.

This wasn't a casual rhetorical question. She sincerely asked it and I didn't answer. There were other things going on and the answer would take a long time and give rise to emotions inconvenient for the press of time and circumstance. She didn't ask this question in accusation or criticism. And I didn't take it that way. She asked it in melancholic reminiscing. Implicit was the query, "Are we ever going to do it again?" But, there was even more to her tone. There was a hint of innocence lost, of a glance back over the shoulder before getting on with the battle ahead. I think a partial, unwanted answer lay just beneath the surface of her consciousness that she was hoping to avoid and evade. Ailsa is growing up. Our family is growing up.

So here, now, is my answer: I don't know.

I faced this critical passage in life when I found myself in Italy only a week or two into the mission. This was my "You can never go home again" moment. I wasn't happy and couldn't help but reminisce. I had to come to my own realization that the future lies before us. (That sounds like a bombastic P.G. Wodehouse/Roderick Spode quote.)

I would like to ask someone whatever happened to endless warm sleepy hours basking (and baking) on the sand. (To the skin cancer scare bears out there: If I die of melanoma, it will be well worth it.)

Are we ever going to do it again? Probably only as a faint shadow of the once glorious past.

Are we ever going to go stay in that little apartment in Italy again? I hope so. Are we ever going to load up the family in the car and have a fun, vacation drive filled with hilarity, boredom, and some complaining and arguing again? I sure think so. But, only for a couple of years until you have your own family. Are we ever going to go for a family bike ride on the Jordan River Parkway again. Probably. And then all of our children will grow up. (Laney, more slowly than the others.) And life will change for us and for you. And you won't have to live in the past. But, occasionally you will want to take a glance back over your shoulder before getting on with the battle ahead.

It is an unfortunate fact of life that we spend 95% of the time thinking about the other 5%. But, it is the memory of that small delicious part of life that keeps us going and that we hold as a future goal.

Christmas 2005

Jensen's "Hot Santa"

The first Christmas card we receive each year comes from the White House, complete with autopen or engraved signature letting me know that I am one in about 280,000,000. I am such a slob. If the President can get his Christmas chores done so promptly while conducting the "War on Terror", I should also be able to while conducting my own "War on Household Terror" (ominous music.) I think my problem lies with my Chief of Staff. I cannot get her to do the Christmas letter. Lenore says that it is a payroll problem. 
Ailsa recently got a really cute knit cap. When she wears it, her ears poke out from her hair and she has that distinct look of the elves in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. She especially reminds me of Hugo Weaving who plays Elrond and who also enjoys a high degree of coolth with kids Ailsa's age group because of his role as agent Smith in the Matrix movies. I have half a mind to give her a Christmas gift of prosthetic elf ears (subtle ones, mind you) to wear out in public on occasion. 
She now holds the family record for number of jobs held at one time. (Personally, I think she just doesn't like College and needed a ready excuse for failing her Algebra course.) She is working at Laser Quest. (This is so she can dominate awkward young teen age boys.) She is doing some Avon selling. (Curiously, she dresses like a retro Diane Wiest whenever she goes canvassing.) After viewing Edward Scissorhands I now realize she secretly hopes to knock on Johnny Depp's castle door. 
But, her best job by far is author. She has signed a contract to have a book published. She has actually completed a couple of books and has a couple more in process. I believe she suffers from a sort of literary diarrhea. Having witnessed her youth and participated in her torture and programming, I think she has so much bouncing around in her head it must be cathartic for her to write, and she does a lot of writing. The book is presently called, "Raven's Rite: the Faery Prophecies, Book One." Look for it online by the end of the year. Seriously, I think she could really have some success with writing because she loves and lives to do it, is prolific, and so far has been very easy for the publisher to work with. Check out http://www.dreamlandpublishing.com/author1.html. Scroll down to the_bottom of the page.Jensen graduated from Kimber academy. It was difficult. She had a hard time with the thesis and the GED tests. But, she made it and we are very proud of her. The hardest part of all however, was sitting through the 5 hour graduation dinner and program. If you are brave you can read about it at: http://toddlillywhite.blogspot.com. Since Jensen is still very immature.... er young and certainly not ready for college (unless of course, she were to attend school in Hildale or Colorado City... (That's a polygamy/child bride joke.)) she decided to attend High School like normal kids. She is doing quite well, enjoying it a lot and becoming more normal all the time. 
As writing is to Ailsa, so is drawing to Jensen. You can see some fine examples of her art at http://goolz.blogspot.com. In no other field (especially room orderliness maintenance) is Jensen bothered with any degree of conscientiousness. But, when it comes to drawing she can get downright Nazi about things. This latest weekend she spent almost every spare moment working on drawings for her English class. I thought English involved writing, not drawing. 
We went shooting quite a lot while at the Colorado River for Thanksgiving vacation. Jensen really takes to this and has her eye set on inheriting a .22 revolver that belonged to her Great-Grandfather and maybe even his father. After popping off about 2000 rounds we had to pry the blistering firearm from her cramped fist. Really, she was grey with gunshot residue. The cascade of spent casings nearly buried her feet. She cackled maniacally and had a very noticeable facial tick. I'm not concerned at all that she has asked Santa for an assault rifle and has suddenly become fascinated with Jodie Foster. 
Being the great models of parenting that we are, we also took Laney shooting. I had to help her hold the revolver and the rifle. Her arms are too short to put the butt of the rifle to her shoulder. We kind of pointed at things without aiming and she pulled the trigger. Needless to say she only hit rocks. But, quite enjoyed doing so. When the magazine on the rifle was empty she turned and said, "I need more bullets." We'll be buying her a lifetime NRA membership for Christmas. 
Laney still spends about half of the time in our bed at night. We realize that for centuries children have been the most effective form of birth control. They perform this function in at least two ways. They interfere with connubial bliss. And, many of them by their comportment provide ample incentive not to have any more. I can report that it is working well for us also. She kicks off the covers, snores and sputters, and grinds her teeth. She exhales skinky breath in your face all night long. I've started breaking out again. We love her so. 
She has the same Kindergarten teacher that Ailsa and Jensen both had. Last Friday they were singing some Christmas songs at the local Mall. It really was a treat because I wasn't expecting to be able to make it. I had a funeral to conduct. But, because of delays caused by sound system problems, I managed to arrive barely after it started. Initially she was in tears after the paper Santa hanging around her neck ripped. The teacher quickly and alertly grabbed another one for her to wear. (She snatched it from a bewildered but tough boy who wasn't about to cry in public, just kidding.) Laney settled down after a couple of minutes and by the twelfth day of Christmas she was in good spirits again. Some of the kids were very intent on performing flawlessly and playing to the audience. This was not Laney. There were too many other distractions and concerns. She is very similar to her older sisters that way. 
The family (with much gentle persuasion and importuning from Todd) bought a tandem bicycle this year. Ailsa's first comment upon seeing it: Where does the gas go? I alternated solo rides with tandem rides and rotated through the three oldest girls as stokers. Altogether we probably put about 600-800 miles on it. Truthfully, I think the girls enjoyed it. Or are just too afraid to tell me otherwise. At least it enabled them to see the bunnies and roadrunners on the Camp Pendleton Marine base. 
We made four trips by car to California this year. Probably the highlight of course was our annual trip to San Clemente. But, the highlight of that trip was going to the Newport Beach LDS Temple open house. We've been to a couple of these. It was a special treat to see a temple finally built to serve the Saints of that area. I was especially delighted to run into Stuart Campbell at the open house and a couple of other friends and acquaintances from my youth. 
Lenore is still teaching the Gospel Doctrine class at Church. But, the Bishop might be doing something about that this year. She will sometimes read a couple of books in preparation for her lessons. I try to motivate her to update her blog often. Maybe you can encourage her as well. 
Sorry we will be late in sending our Christmas greetings. But, we do mean well. We keep your friendship and memories dear and look forward to seeing you anytime and sometime. During this time of year we are especially grateful for what we have and for our family and friends and we acknowledge that it all comes from our Heavenly Father.

Disclaimer:No animals were harmed in the production of, or in the events depicted in this letter. Ours is an animal friendly family, unless, of course, you look good with an apple in your mouth.