Meridian Magazine

13 May 2006

Naughtius Maximus - Part Deux

When we went to bed the night of Friday Apr 28 Tommy was missing. He had gotten out sometime during the evening and was nowhere to be found. All of our other cats in the past were smart enough or responsible enough to return home and wait patiently at the front door or back door. Tommy has even done this. I wasn't overly anxious about his welfare. He was recently made harmless as far as feline overpopulation is concerned. So, I figured he was just out on a bender.

When he didn't show up in the morning I started to change my thinking. I was now concerned. But, couldn't think of anything that could be done about it. I figured he was probably reduced to a grease spot on I-15. Cats don't easily get lost and I couldn't imagine his making a conscious decision to bolt from such a nice environment as offered by our humble home.

A pall settled over the household and Lenore was put on suicide watch. Secretly, Ruby was rejoicing and I half considered interrogating her to see if she had any part in Tommy's demise. (She was recently seen Googling the terms "eliminating tiresome male cats" on our computer.) We called to him. We searched the house, the yard, the neighborhood. We alerted anyone who might even know what he looked like. The Humane Society hadn't had any offenders matching his description turned in with the overnight roundup.

About midnight on Saturday Laney woke up whimpering and did one of her signature barfing routines on our bed again. So we were awake cleaning things up and giving her medicine. Lenore decided to check the backdoor one more time and lo and behold ho-hum Tommy was waiting there. He smelled vaguely of asphalt and his coat was dusty. He may have gone on a road trip. I hear the female cats in Magna are real friendly.

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