My Brother from Berkshire

We went to the wrong Eddie Redmayne movie this weekend. I think Jupiter Ascending was built from three pages of script notes and filled in with action sequences. This must be a new kind of Hollywood gamble: throw $175 millions in production money at an idea and hope the audience comes. In this case they built it, but...

I could go on in detail about its failings. This review sums it up pretty well:

“Jupiter Ascending” took the road less traveled, into the wish-fulfillment of prepubescent girls. Around half an hour into the film, Channing Tatum despondently regales Mila Kunis with his life story — he is the orphaned half-albino runt of a space werewolf litter forced to use anti-gravity rollerblades to fly because his bionic wings were stripped when he was dishonorably discharged from the space military — and something magical happens. Every woman who ever wrote herself into her favorite universe via fanfic, every girl who created an amnesiac elven vampire princess and role-played in a chat room, every chick who ever wanted a blaster by her side and a submissive werewolf boyfriend at her back, every one of them whispered, “Finally. It is our time.” Read more at http://www.hitfix.com/harpy/jupiter-ascending-is-the-sci-fi-movie-women-were-waiting-for#X7mWjPlmTt0vZtlQ.99

As we were leaving we overheard one of the audience members responding to a theater employee who had asked what he thought about the film. He said it was the best science fiction movie ever. We weren't even in the same Galaxy let alone movie house. The only thing to recommend in this production are the costumes and the visual richness.

Mr. Redmayne the academy is on the phone. They would like their statue back.

P.S. The ONLY reason to hope for a sequel is so that Sean Bean can be killed off to keep his streak going.