Christmas 2017

Christmas 2017

Ailsa here, commissioned to bring Christmas tidings to loved ones of the Lillywhite family! If I were dad, I’d probably start off by reflecting on the 30 plus years that we’ve been a family and answer a few questions: Is this where I thought we’d be in thirty years? Have the last thirty Christmases met or broken my expectations? Sort of like a performance review which we all agree are horrible.

But, I’m not dad, and I was only sentient for a portion of those 30 plus Christmases, so I’m going to have to guess that the decided lack of grandchildren and, the concomitant sons in law, is a bit of a surprise. We’re a family that’s still in its young stages, in that sense: Two parents, three daughters, some animals (including two platonic life-mate fish.) It might seem like the fact that our family make-up has essentially remained unaltered since the great Lanifer was born would make each Christmas letter pretty similar, and yes, we have fallen into some recognizable routines.

I’m a writer, so I think a lot about patterns and tropes, especially in our pop culture. One of the most common tropes is the Five Man Band. Because of troublesome and typical conventions, one of these five men is typically “The Chick” meaning a one female to four male ratio is what audiences are comfortable seeing in an action film. Our family is the reverse of this convention. We don’t have “The Chick” but instead have “The Dude” as the one male among four females. With this inversion taken into account, we still fit the profile of the Five Man Band to a somewhat eyebrow raising degree.

Mom, Lenore (The Leader): This character is usually the identifiable protagonist, even in an ensemble cast. Mom has the herculean task of making sure we all cohesively work together and accomplish things, rather than just messing around on our devices. It’s not easy being the leader. Mom is tired, but cheerful. And this year, she discovered chalk painting, to great and beautiful success, and turned her kitchen into an apothecary, which looks pretty dope. If you see mom sometime soon, give her a high five.

Jensen (The Big Guy): sometimes “the muscle,” although size and physical strength aren’t actually as important for this character as their role of being the person who actually "gets stuff done.” Usually, there’s not a lot of ego here, maybe a little fleeting pride. But, then it’s quickly time to move on and do something else--probably something the leader or the lancer can’t accomplish alone. Jensen is currently enjoying her work as a video-game genius, and has overcome early bouts of VR sickness in order to live in Skyrim world part-time, which is a thing you can do now. What a time to be alive. If you see her, ask her about the Netflix series Stranger Things and she will never stop talking.

Laney-uccio (The Smart Guy): solves all the really intellectually challenging problems, makes the rest of the team look pretty dumb in comparison. Maybe they’re all really pretty smart, but compared to the actual “smart” member of the team, not so much. This year Lanicus Rex has adopted all of the family hobbies and is slowly getting better at them than everyone else also, just in case it wasn’t enough to just make us feel intellectually inadequate. If you see her, DON’T bring up Stranger Things, she’s tired of hearing about it from Jensen.

Me, Ailsa (The Lancer): This character is defined as being “not the leader” in a lot of ways. They typically act as a kind of foil to the leader, offering an alternative viewpoint, even to the point of antagonism. Think Han Solo to Luke Skywalker. Unfortunately, the Lancer is usually pretty crucial to the success of the mission, so she can’t just take a nap all weekend, no matter how much she wants to. I moved to Las Vegas for a Judicial Clerkship, and love my job. We do a split civil and criminal court, so if you see me… I hope it’s civil.

Dad, Todd (The Dude): mainly because of poor writing, this character usually doesn’t have too many other discernible traits beyond simply being defined as a different gender from the others. Luckily, there are also some examples of writers turning this player into an actual character, and in our case “The Dude” occupies the role of the peacemaker. In a sense the same task that the leader has, to somehow make the group act cohesively, also falls upon dad’s shoulders. He makes sure we can work together without conflict, and quickly resolves said conflict so that we can accomplish our individual and collective missions. If you see him, slip him some chocolate. In secret though. If any one of us sees it, we’ll try to take it.

To echo a Facebook post from dad, this last election year was a great demonstration of how much our family is evolving in that out of the five of us--four were of the legal age to vote-- and all voted for a different presidential candidate. The final, underage member of the family (Lane-faced-killah, as she’s known on the mean streets of the Independent Republic of Murray) far from being a tie-breaker on this issue, admitted that she actually preferred a fifth candidate. This is a YUGE contrast to the previous election, in which all five of us liked the same doomed man for the job:(

What I’m saying is that we are definitely five different people. In spite of how exceedingly different we’ve all turned out to be, and how our lives are taking us in different directions, rapidly. We enjoy nothing more than spending time together, treading over the common ground that we do have. To illustrate, a list: Heaven is a beach, probably in the Caribbean. But, maybe also in Sicily or Croatia; Cats are the greatest ever. Dogs are alright. Cats are also wicked; Until Dawn isn’t just a survival horror video game, it’s also a wholesome activity that the whole family can enjoy, together!; Carbonara doesn’t need peas. Why would you ruin good Carbonara with peas? And despite what the purists say, you CAN add cream; We all picked the same “song of the summer” which is the groovy “Waves That Pull You Under” by Young Summer; and We all agree on the following television: Call the Midwife; Anne with an E; Broadchurch: The Walking Dumb Bunnies—I mean Dead. It’s called The Walking Dead.

Most importantly, there is one thing that I’m glad we all agree on, because it makes the future clear, and gives a reason for the hope that is in us: The Gospel/Church of Jesus Christ is true. Or, more importantly, our Heavenly Father has a plan for us, as a family, and also, as five different individuals and their respective loved ones. We can be together forever, and that makes being apart (whether physically or philosophically) now, a lot more bearable.

But don’t misunderstand, we’re totally getting together for Christmas! Christmas time is a great time for getting together, and reflecting on the years and the Christmases past, and we hope that each of you are doing the same, and that you are smiling. We’ve had a wonderful 30 plus years as a family, and we’re so blessed to have all of you in our lives. May your Christmas be merry and bright, and your new year something to write about.

The Lillywhites

“Soft and easy is thy cradle, Coarse and hard thy Saviour lay, When His birthplace was a stable, And His softest bed was hay – Isaac Watts